We're all in this alone.
What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch.
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.
Teflon brain - nothing sticks.
After all, in private were all misfits.
Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.
The best mind-altering drug is truth.
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library.
For fast acting relief, try slowing down.
We're the phone company. We don't care. We don't have to.
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year, everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- then we can all die laughing.