Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
It is easier to stay out than get out.
It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.