Allan Sherman Quotes

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.

I didn't decide I was crazy until 1952. That's when I began making a steady salary and could afford to be crazy.

I have always lived beyond my means. I am still trying to live beyond my means, but it is getting harder all the time. I am very rich.

I was having trouble making ends meet, and my beginnings weren't meeting either.

It's a play where something went wrong, 'Cause it's five hours, twelve minutes long. If you sit there, my friend, From beginning 'til end, Then your bladder better be strong!

The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And we all have heard the saying, which is true as well as witty, That a camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.

You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.