A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 486
Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 4
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 3
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 3
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 2
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years." Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 1
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 1
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week? Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0