A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 490
Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 8
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 4
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 3
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 3
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 1
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 1
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years." Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 1
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. Erma Bombeck American Journalist More Erma Bombeck Quotes 0