Always look on the bright side of life.
It was a fantastic success. Over 60 000 times more powerful than Britains great pre-war joke, and one which Hitler just couldnt match..
Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark.
I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!
-She turned me into a newt! -A newt? -I got better...
It's funny, isn't it? How your best friend can just blow up like that?
We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
'Tis but a scratch' 'A scratch?! Your arm's off!' 'No, it isn't.'.
There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not.
Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock, Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.
I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there?
'What? Ridden on a horse?' 'Yes' 'You're using coconuts!' 'What?' 'You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together!' 'So?'.
Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!
Tonight, instead of discussing the existence or non- existence of God, they have decided to fight for it.
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
First you must find... another shrubbery! (dramatic chord) Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two layer effect with a little path running down the middle. ("A path! A path!") Then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forrest... with... a herring!
And now for something completely different.
He must be a king. Why? He hasn't got shit all over him.
We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.
I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.
Jesus did. I was hopping along, when suddenly he comes and cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next moment me livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. Look. I'm not saying that being a leper was a bowl of cherries. But it was a living. I mean, you try waving muscular suntanned limbs in people's faces demanding compassion. It's a bloody disaster.