Will Rogers Quotes

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.

The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this -- no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

Last year we said, "Things can't go on like this," and they didn't, they got worse.

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?".

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.