Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
Sex between 2 people is a beautiful thing; between 5 it's fantastic.
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Marriage is the death of hope.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?